Growing up in?our home, I had parents from two different upbringings.
My Dad lived in a more rural setting, while Mom was from the "big city" (those who know where she grew up, you are certainly laughing) or perhaps it's more appropriate to say an area that was more populated, a suburban feel.
Though a "country boy", Dad is very mannerly. I think sometimes good ole' boys are categorized as rednecks, unnecessarily. Mammaw Evelyn and Pappaw Irnin wouldn't have put up with a son who approached a table like a trough. ;)
And Mom, well she had?some exposure to?formal dinners and events, as well as classes in Home Economics that reinforced appropriate social behaviors at home and certainly in public.
Then came Matt and I who were blessed enough to be raised with a bit of hybrid parenting.
To say my parents were lax when it came to our manners would be wrong, however they were more interested in modeling good manners, so that Matt and I would do the same.
The main problem we encountered...no wait a minute...MATT encountered, would be his use of words. He wouldn't intentionally be rude, but sometimes his formations of sentences or use of slang terms would drive Dad BONKERS!? He would yell out, "Matt, you're ruining the king's English".? In my naivity I would say, "But we don't have a king...we have a president". To which my Dad would tell me, "Pipe down!". :)? See what good family dynamics we had?? Ha ha!
Actually, Dad just wanted Matt to represent our family well when he spoke.? Like many parents say, Dad agreed that his children were a reflection of he and Mom.
My down fall was...and still is...something VERY embarrassing...and no it's not talking too much.?It doesn't?bother me, so I ignore those it does. ;) Hee hee!
Like?most Funny Friday's, I might as well share this shortcoming.? I want you to laugh today, even if it is at my expense.
If I am eating something I think is REALLY good, I have been known to do one of two things...
1.? Take my finger across the plate to get one last taste.
OR...EVEN WORSE
2. Pick the plate up and lick it!
I know, I know...how unlady-like right???
The good thing for me, this terrible trait...I learned it from my Dad.? Yep...he does it too!? So, unlike Matt, the unmannerly behavior I exhibit was introduced too me by Mr. Manner's himself...good ole' Daddy!
I was happy to find out recently, as Paul was making fun of me and this unsightly action, that I have another VERY lady-like family member who does the same thing.?
She will remain nameless, but I know who you are and so do you...I love you...and I don't feel so bad now.? Ha ha!? It's our compliments to chef...plate lickin' good! ;)
I am sure there were other things that Matt and I did that I just can't recall, but what I do remember is Dad using the phrase, "Why did you do that?? Were you raised in a barn?".
Before becoming a parent myself, I obviously had no reason to pay much attention to those little things that kids do to unnerve their parents in the manner(s) department.
Then Beau and Brynn entered our world. Paul and I too had to face the issues of taking the kids out in public and praying to God that they didn't do something as embarrassing as picking up a plate and licking it.
Though not plate lickers, our kids have certainly not been the picture of perfection when it comes to behavior.
In fact, there?was an incident this week that made me sincerely want to apologize to Dad and Mom for anything embarrassing I may have done in public...after my laughter ceased.
My dear friend Jill and her husband Kevin are pregnant with their 3rd child, their first boy.
Though from Kentucky, they now reside in Texas.?
The pregnant family visited over the 4th of July holiday, when a surprise shower was coordinated.
Jill's twin sister Tonya, also my good friend, sent me a text asking me to join this shower.
I was honored and have ALWAYS considered this family, my family.?
Because Paul was going to mow the yard that afternoon, I knew I needed to pick up the kids and if possible, bring them with me.?
I asked Tonya, and in their kid friendly way, she says, "Of course!".
I told Paul, I enjoy taking our kids places?so they can meet/see?people who don't see them often. I hope?friends can know me, not just as an "old friend", but as Beau and Brynna's mom.? Plus, I feel like our kids are so much fun, I want to share the wealth...this baby shower wouldn't disappoint...sort of.
I don't claim that anything Beau does is the "autism talking", but sometimes it does hinder social settings.?Though we are aware of this,?Paul and I don't want to use autism as an excuse for bad behavior.? We do know that he learns differently from Brynna.?We try to be sensitive to both of our kids needs.? Modeling behavior for Beau is pretty senseless...since he picks up little from his environment unless it's an intentional learning application. But hey, Paul and I don't think that's a FREE PASS to act like hoodlums. ;)? Though some days...like this baby shower, I might as well have handed out two passes...one for each of them.
We arrive and immediately Beau makes a beeline for the food table.? He eyes all the yummy food and then blurts out..."Ummm...I don't think I like those sandwiches".?
I am thinking, "Awesome!", we weren't even in the place a minute, and our son is already spouting off offensive remarks in front of the hosts.?
That should have been my cue to leave...but no, I am the world famous glutton for punishment. :)
Never ask yourself if things could get worse...usually they do.
About that time Brynna makes her way to the food table as well.? I see the crinkle in her nose...I KNOW THAT LOOK!? GRRRRR!? My little petite princess opens her mouth and like big brother insults the nice spread laid out in front of her.
Are you kidding me?
"Mom, I don't really like any of this food".?
I was SO embarrassed.? To cover my embarrassment, I usually make jokes.? This instance would be NO different.
I nervously say to those seated at a table with me, "Yes, Brynna is used to caviar for dinner, I don't suppose you have any? My girl has expensive taste".
The family is assuring me that they are not offended at all and are laughing. I knew they meant it, they didn't find my kids offensive, or perhaps they are just tolerant.
I have known them nearly 20 years and if I didn't offend them when I was a teenager, then I am hoping my kids wouldn't be banned from future functions after 15 minutes.
Then it's CAKE TIME! :) Woohoo!
Surely you can't be dissatisfied with cake. Well, nothing doing that at least one of the kids would find something wrong with it too! Lady of the Hour Brynna wanted chocolate...well BOOHOO, this wasn't her party!
Beau yells, "I want to eat the shoes", which was code for, "Give me the piece with the booties on them...cause I LOVE ICING.".
I can't speak for the family but I was so ready for this?baby shower to be over.? This night of fun and visiting had turned into Barnum and Rafferty's Three Ring Circus, and Beau and Brynna had the center ring.
Finally, we are wrapping up the shower.? I was sweating profusely...not cause it was hot in the room...but because I had NO idea what our kids would pop off with next. I was tired of defending them and just resolved that all this behavior was perpetuated by bad parenting and modeling.? I should have NEVER licked that plate in front of them!
I'm gathering my keys, phone and Brynna when I notice Beau is no where to be found.? I turn around and?to my horror I see something that I KNOW Beau did NOT learn from Paul or I.? This nearly 5 foot tall kid is standing at the punch bowl, ladle in hand, drinking from it, punch dripping from his chin onto his shirt.?AAAAAAHHHHH!
He sees me catch him, and drops the ladle...caught red-mouthed.
He is a deer in the headlights.? Initially, I don't say anything...in fact, I quietly turn around to see if any of the others had seen him.? Perhaps we could get out of there with out anyone else knowing of Beau's punch bowl indiscretion.?
About that time, Kevin (dad-to-be) says, "Yeah Jaime, I saw him".? I said, "You did?".? He said, "Yeah, I didn't see him drink out of it, but he was licking it". The horror on my face, I am sure, was priceless.?
I said, "Why didn't you say anything?".? He said, "This family does stuff like that all the time.".
It would have been SO easy to pass the buck on this one, but for the life of me, I couldn't see anyone in either of our families drink directly out of a punch bowl...plate licking seems so minor too me...Beau contaminated a perfectly good remaining bowl of punch with Rafferty backwash.
We leave, and I knew I had to call Paul on this one.
I was amused and disgusted all at once.? Did I think it was funny....absolutely....but would have thought it was much?funnier had it NOT been one of our children. ;)
I had to hold the phone very close too me, once I got Paul on the line.? You see, his laughter was SO loud I was sure Beau would hear it and take that as that "free pass" on this unmannerly act.
I hang up the phone and begin my "mom talk" of disapproval. That went really far...right.
I remind him of how rude it was.? He says, "I know, but it was so good, I was attracted to the red punch". Suppressing the laughter, I continued on with my assertive?attempt?at correction.
Within a few seconds he interrupts me (which is also rude!) and says, "Hey Mom, when did you and Dad get married?? And what year did you get me and Brynny?".
I don't even answer him...I KNEW what he was doing.? That little stinker!? He knows I LOVE talking about Daddy, and when he and Brynna were born.? But I knew his hand and he wasn't going to win this one.
He asked me one more time before I could think of a clever response...outwitting this kid is tough, for some reason I don't think nearly as quickly on my feet with Beau. LOL!
I mustered, "Beau, now listen, do you REALLY care when Mom and Dad got married, or what year you and Brynna were born?? Or do you want me to stop talking about what happened at the punch bowl?".
In his brutal honesty, he says, "Yes I want you to stop talking about the punch bowl, NOW and no I don't care about when you got married or when you got?me and Brynny."
Just as I suspected!
We drove home in silence.? I'm giggling all the way...knowing it's wrong.
We enter the house, before too many words are exchanged, brown-noser Beau knows Dad will be asking him about the punch bowl, but he decides he will pose a question to Dad first..."Hey Dad, how was your day at work?". NICE TRY!
I HIGHLY doubt Beau gave one iota about Paul's hectic work day...but he cared a great deal about what Dad was going to say.
Contrary to the way it may seem, no our kids are not raised in a barn, though?that evening?I wish I had one to banish them too after all their animalistic behavior.
So, if you were contemplating inviting my family to a cookout, dinner function or other event, just forget it.? I cannot promise that Brynn won't insult the food and Beau won't be a public health hazard.? Now, Paul and I will gladly come alone...but I also can't promise you that I won't LOVE the food and lick my plate.? It's up to you!
Have a FUNNY FRIDAY and a blessed weekend! :)
Source: http://findingtherightpiece.blogspot.com/2011/07/raised-in-barn.html
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